How working as a Playboy Bunny taught me the true meaning of sisterhood!
I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise to you that when I was young all I wanted was to be on stage in the west end. As a kid you’d find me reenacting my favourite movie scenes, singing at the top of my lungs at every opportunity and making up dance routines (that my family were forced to get involved in) from dusk till dawn.
I loved to perform, it set my soul alight and it brought those around me joy, so from a young age I was pretty clear it was my purpose in life.
I was very quickly noticed at school and began to be given opportunities to use my aptitude for learning lines and public speaking. I was even headhunted for a TV role which my parents (who didn’t drive) were clearly ecstatic about since they had to cart me on the 4 busses just to get me there!
I was a confident and happy young girl, but unfortunately, I grew up in an area where those qualities weren’t celebrated. Something about my belief in myself triggered others around me. So much so I was often “put in my place”. People would cut me out of friendship groups, adults would tell me I was annoying or asked “did I ever shut up?” and eventually I was being bullied by the other children in my class, so I quickly learned that it was easier if I hid myself. If I didn’t stand out then people wouldn’t have anything bad to say about me. I soon lost that confident sparkle and became known as “the wallflower” (no joke, that’s how teachers described me until I was in my late teens)
With this experience came a deep distrust in others. I had unfortunately been surrounded by those who felt overshadowed, jealous or resentful of me and I started to believe that I was someone who other girls (and eventually women) didn’t like. So I closed myself off as a protective measure. I never really built any true friendships and I never ever had a circle of girl friends. I missed out on so much connection and support because I couldn’t allow myself to get close to anyone.
When I was in my late twenties I had this unexpected opportunity to work for The Playboy Club in London. It was hugely nostalgic and being a lover of the 1950’s I was all in. Getting to dress up in the iconic bunny costume and learning how to deal casino games were two things I was super excited about! I was not excited about bunny school with the other 39 women who’d be joining me. My guard was up and I dreaded the moment they all realised I wasn’t someone they liked. I pictured the bitchiness, the gossiping and I knew I’d have to stay in my shell to be safe…
When the 11th of March 2011 rolled around I was a hot mess. Walking into that room for the first time I had the ultimate fear and a nervous rash - I almost ran back down the stairs, all my self-limiting beliefs were right in front of my face and I just knew I was going to be rejected.
I remember I caught the eye of this wonderful human, she had this gorgeous Aura around her and immediately came over and I couldn’t stop staring at her! She came right over to me and introduced herself and before I knew it I was right in the middle of 39 other incredible women who were all keen to know who I was and how I was feeling.
This was my first ever experience of a sisterhood.
Over the next 12 weeks, we had each other’s backs. We faced so much negative press, we were branded as a step backwards in feminism, there were protestors who followed us and people said mean things about us online. So it became us against the world.
We all had varying backgrounds, from performers to models to psychologists and lawyers. I was mixing with some of the most intelligent, self-assured and confident women I had ever met and instead of it being a competition to tear each other down - it was the exact opposite. We were honest with each other, whilst holding each other safe. No one was allowed to hurt any of our bunny sisters or they’d have a team of fierce women to contend with and I, personally, have never felt more supported and empowered. It was the moment I realised that empowered women do indeed empower women!
That experience at Playboy changed the trajectory of my life. Down went the guard and belief that other women were my competition or out to get me and out grew my die-hard feminist values.
It’s one of the main reasons I felt able to create SLAM. Because in the short year that I worked with those incredible women I saw people go on to start their own businesses, open their own clinical psychology practices, achieve their dreams of presenting on national TV and so much more.
Nothing was impossible because we had a bunch of incredible hype girls behind us and that is the power of sisterhood.
When we support each other, we don’t lose out, we gain... tenfold.
The patriarchy teaches us that there isn’t enough for us all and that in order to succeed we have to tear each other down or that we can support each other - but not too much, or we’ll have nothing left for ourselves. That’s bullshit and the moment we realise the power in connecting and coming together - is one of those life-changing ones!
I’ve carried that belief with me these past 10 years and it has helped me grow my fledgling baby idea of a place that supported and empowered people who identify as women into this incredible empire that I could never even have dreamed of when I was that little girl playing the wallflower, so no one would hurt me.
I owe it all to my Bunny sisters - the first group of women to teach me that power of sisterhood.
On the 12th of December this year I’ll be taking a big ole step out of my comfort zone and inviting 12 people who identify as women to my first ever SLAM sisterhood circle. It feels time for me to hold space for others to bathe in the magic tonic that is - being seen, heard and supported by other women.
This first session will be an opportunity for us to connect through mindful movement, clear out any shit we are holding on to and be guided on a restorative journey in a safe and beautiful space.