Bisexuality Visibility Day - An interview with Lyndsey

Getting to Know You

So, how did you figure out you were bisexual? What’s your story?

I’ve always known I was attracted to more than one gender, but growing up without much queer representation, I carried a lot of internalized shame and biphobia. During high school, witnessing homophobia firsthand only intensified my fears, and I kept my feelings under wraps. It’s kind of funny looking back—I used to think all women were a bit gay, which is such a bi thing to think! I’d sometimes share drunken kisses with friends, but never really let myself explore that part of who I am.

It wasn’t until later in life, when a friend opened up about her own sexuality, that I began to accept mine. By then, I had been married to a man for eight years and always presented myself as an ally to the queer community. I felt like I was on the outside looking in, longing to be part of a family I so desperately wanted to belong to. Acknowledging the sadness and resentment I had bottled up was a revelation. Embracing my true self lifted a world of weight off my shoulders—it was liberating

Being in a relationship that might look straight to others, how do you keep connected to your bisexual identity?

My queer identity means everything to me, especially because I didn’t really get to dive into that part of myself when I was younger. Staying connected to my bisexuality is key—I do it by hanging out with a bunch of awesome queer friends and really soaking up all the vibes in our community. I also love reading stories about other bi folks and linking up with them online. It’s like finding pieces of my own story in theirs.

I’m all about being open and real about who I am. In my personal life, I’ve embraced a way of living that gives me the space to explore and grow. This openness is subtle, but it's there—it allows me to live my truth and keeps me connected to my identity in ways I really cherish. Whenever it comes up, I don’t shy away from telling my story. It’s not just about being honest; it’s about inviting others into my world and maybe, making it a bit easier for someone else to do the same.

Facing the Misunderstandings

What are some of the weirdest or most frustrating misunderstandings about bisexuality you’ve run into?

One of the toughest parts for me is dealing with that nagging feeling of not being gay enough or straight enough to fit perfectly anywhere. It’s like being in a constant tug-of-war with expectations. Sometimes, in super heteronormative settings, people ask why it even matters that I’m bi if I’m married to a man—as if my ring somehow magically wipes away my queer identity. Spoiler: it doesn’t!

Then there’s that awful stereotype that bi people are just indecisive or greedy—like we’re shopping around or can’t make up our minds. It’s tough hearing that kind of talk, because it’s not only untrue but also dismisses the genuine feelings and experiences I have as a bi person. Being bi doesn’t mean I want ‘everything’; it just means the range of my attractions is wider

Ever have to deal with biphobia or people not getting your bisexuality in queer or straight circles?

Oh, absolutely. It’s like a double-edged sword sometimes. In straight circles, there’s this lingering assumption that because I’m married to a man, I’m somehow just straight now, as if my attraction to multiple genders just switched off when I said “I do.” And in queer spaces, there can be this vibe of not being "queer enough," which really stings because it feels like I’m being pushed out of a community that I belong to just as much as anyone else.

Both situations can be exhausting because it feels like I constantly have to prove or justify my bisexuality. But over time, I’ve learned to surround myself with folks who get it and support me for all that I am, which makes a world of difference

Why Visibility Rocks

Bisexual Visibility Day—why does it matter to you?

This day holds such a special place in my heart because seeing other queer folks out and proud is what gave me the courage to live my own authentic life. Beyond just my own story, I think it’s crucial these visibility days keep happening. There are still too many people out there being told that the world would be better off without them, and that’s just heartbreaking and wrong. Days like today celebrate our beautifully diverse and multifaceted community, showing everyone that the world isn’t just okay with them in it—it’s actually so much better because they are

How important is it for people to see and recognize bisexuality, especially when someone’s in a relationship like yours?

Visibility is a huge deal for me because it’s all about being seen for who I truly am. In a relationship like mine, where it might look straight to the outside world, my bisexuality can get overlooked or dismissed, which feels like I’m being erased. That’s why it’s crucial to keep bisexuality in the conversation—it’s a constant reminder that I’m still here, still bi, no matter who I’m with. Celebrating and recognizing bisexuality helps smash those frustrating myths that we’re just indecisive or attention-seeking. It’s about showing that my feelings are valid and my identity doesn’t just fade into the background because of my relationship status. It's about making sure people like me feel included and respected in every space we enter

Finding Your Crew

What kinds of support really help you as a bisexual woman?

I'm really lucky to have a strong support network around me—from friends and family to my relationships. I have these amazing spaces where I can openly discuss my queer identity and experiences without feeling any shame or judgment. And honestly, that's what matters the most—just having places where you're not judged. When I first came out, I faced a lot of people who brushed me off as “attention-seeking,” which I think is a common reaction. Having safe spaces where I could simply be myself, whether I wanted to talk or just be present, has meant the world to me. It’s these supportive environments that have truly made a difference in my life

How do you hang out or connect with other bi folks and the wider LGBTQ+ community?

Growing up and working in musical theatre and dance, I was lucky to be around a lot of queer folks. Back then, I hadn’t quite found the courage to be open about who I really was, but I got to dive deep into queer culture and made some friends for life. Even though we’re all spread out across the globe now, we still catch up regularly, whether that’s in person or online.

At SLAM, where we pride ourselves on being an LGBTQ+ friendly space, I get to meet and connect with other bi people, which is awesome. I’ve also used apps and Facebook groups in the past to meet new queer friends. It's been a great way to keep expanding my circle and stay connected with the community.

Real Talk Advice

What would you say to someone who’s bi but not really sure about coming out, or feels like they’re not "bi enough" because of who they’re dating?

I totally believe that not everyone needs to have a formal "coming out" if they don't feel it's right for them. Honestly, I wish we didn’t just assume everyone is straight until proven otherwise. But since that's often how it goes, coming out was a crucial step for me and really transformed my life.

I’m a firm believer in living your one life true to yourself. If coming out feels right for you, go for it. And remember, if anyone rejects you because of your sexuality, well, you really don’t need that kind of negativity. Trust me, their reaction says a lot more about them than it does about you.

You are bi enough, no matter who you're with. Don't let anyone make you doubt your identity. Just keep being your awesome self!

What’s something about love and identity you’ve learned that you wish everyone knew?

I’ve come to see that love isn’t just a static feeling but something that grows and evolves over time. It’s not confined by society’s rules or expectations, and it’s something everyone absolutely deserves. As I've grown, I’ve realized that love doesn’t have to be limited to just one person. I cherish the idea that there can be many loves in a person's life, each unique and deeply meaningful in its own way. I truly hope that my life continues to be filled with such love—rich, varied, and ever-expanding. This understanding has opened my heart in ways I never expected and has shown me the boundless possibilities of love

Hopes for the Future

What kind of changes are you hoping to see in how people understand bisexuality in the future?

I really wish we could all stop holding each other to our personal standards and just let everyone be themselves! Imagine how amazing it would be if we didn’t try to control or suppress each other? On top of that, I’d love to see us get rid of the bi erasure and bi phobia, even within our own LGBTQ+ community. The ‘B’ in LGBTQ+ is there for a reason, and it absolutely deserves its place. Let’s embrace it wholeheartedly! 

What can friends and allies do to really show up for bi people, especially when their relationship might not scream "I'm queer"?

Friends and allies can make a huge difference by just being open and validating. A great start is to listen without making assumptions based on who we’re dating. It’s so important to acknowledge and respect our identities as bisexual, no matter if our relationships appear straight or not. Allies can help by speaking up against bi erasure and stereotypes, and by including bi voices and stories in conversations about LGBTQ+ issues. The key is ensuring we feel seen and supported, exactly as we are. Plus, joining us to celebrate Bisexual Visibility Day would be a fantastic show of solidarity!

Just Between Us

Any words of wisdom you’d want to pass along to younger bi folks who might be struggling?

To all the younger bi folks out there, know that your feelings are valid, and your identity is real—don’t let anyone tell you differently. It’s okay if you’re still figuring things out; there’s no rush to have all the answers right now. Embrace your journey at your own pace, and remember, you're not alone. Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up and make you feel seen. And most importantly, be kind to yourself through it all. You are enough, just as you are, and the world is brighter with your unique light in it. Keep shining!

How do you celebrate your bi identity day-to-day?

I celebrate my bi identity every day just by being unapologetically me. I wear my bi pride colors proudly, whether it's a pin, a bracelet, or even my phone wallpaper. I make it a point to talk about bisexuality openly, especially in moments where it feels a bit more invisible, like when I’m in straight-presenting situations. I also make sure to support bi creators and artists, immersing myself in media that reflects the bi experience. It’s these small, everyday actions that affirm and rejoice in who I am, keeping my bi pride alive and vibrant