3 reasons I feel better at 36 than I did at 26
As women, we are taught that getting older = less valuable to the world. We’re led to believe that aging is bad news and that we should avoid it at all costs but what I hear from the women around me is that they feel better, stronger, more confident and even more badass with every year and I echo that.
Age is a number and I’m challenging myself to reframe the patriarchal conditioning that’s taught me to fear it.
So here are 3 reasons I feel better in my 30’s than I did in my 20’s. I loved my 20’s and I’m not for a second dismissing anyone who is still in that phase of their life but when I was 26 I feared all the things that I am now, I’m all the things the world tells me are “bad” I’m heavier, I have more wrinkles, I need more rest and recovery time yet I’m full of vitality, confidence, joy and BOUNDARIES and damn it feels good!
1 - I listen to my needs and honour them
This one took a while to recognise never mind to implement. I was full-blown committed to that capitalist hamster wheel that told me my productivity was my worth. I bought into ALL of the “go hard or go home” nonsense and I really believed that I my needs were to stay as slim as possible at all costs- because apparently then I’d be happy. I exercised for punishment and I struggled with binge eating from restricting myself so much. I was 10kg lighter than I am now and yet I hated my body. That’s how I know my body was never the problem. As I started learning more about myself, and who I really am and started to clear out some of the toxicity in my life- I learned what my needs actually were. I let go of SO much social conditioning and I learned how to honour myself. As a result, I am more consistent with the practices that keep me well, I have better relationships with others and myself and by doing less for others and more for me… I am actually more successful and more productive than I’ve ever been and I still get to live the joy of supporting other people, this time it’s without sacrificing myself!
2 - I EAT for joy as well as fuel
I didn’t only believe that “food was just fuel” I told other people to see it that way and ok there is an element of this that worked for me - seeing food as a way to fuel my strength gains helped me to stop starving and restricting myself BUT I did fall into a trap of only wanting to eat “clean” and “health” foods and all of a sudden I was controlling my intake and squeezing all of the other amazing things out of eating. I forgot that the act of eating food brings us so much more than fuel and as a result, I missed out on so much life! These days (with the help of a LOT of therapy) I the foods I love, I remember that food brings me comfort and joy, and connection and it tastes damn good and as a result, I have a much happier and healthier life.
3 - I move my body as an act of love, not punishment
Movement meant atonement for me. Atonement for what I’d eaten or how little I had moved that day. Punishment for being rubbish at something. I used it as a way to beat myself into submission and I don’t blame younger me for doing that. My whole life I was conditioned to believe that it was a way to control myself and that if I was just small and perfect- then everything else would fall into place. Of course, it didn’t and instead I was grumpy, miserable and injured all of the time. Now I move my body when I want to and it doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes it’s lifting weights, sometimes it’s a kitchen disco. I’ve let go of the “should” around exercise and also this weird conditioning we all feel that it has to be in a consistent pattern or it’s a waste of time. The only consistency I require is to move, it doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it’s fun, I want to do it and it makes me feel good.
I’d love to know what your lessons and reflections are over the past 10 years, I hope this brings you some inspo!
Remember Getting older is a privilege, one we aren’t guaranteed and life is far too short to waste trying to live up to a ridiculous standard that makes you miserable <3