How To Build A Better Relationship With The Gym
It’s no wonder most of us have a tumultuous relationship with the gym, when you consider that from a very young age we are caught up in a narrative that teaches us that our worth is in the size and shape of our bodies. Even in primary school our educational focus around food is on limiting “bad” or “unhealthy” foods and exercising only to stay “fit” or “healthy”.
Health is about SO much more than the size and shape of our bodies and the reality is that if limiting food and exercising makes us thin, but we are chronically stressed, lacking in good quality sleep, have poor mobility/agility, difficult relationships and low in our sense of self worth, we are not in fact healthy, regardless of how much we look like the “ideal” body forced on us by the media.
But we aren’t taught about the pillars of health (beacuse that doesn’t sell the same way) and so we grow up, to be adults who force ourselves to workout beacuse we believe that exercise is only a means to an end on this journey to thinness and that once we get to destination ‘thin’ we will no longer have to put up with these gruelling workouts that we hate or sacrifcie social time to achieve that long coveted six pack…but of course human nature dictates that restriction and doing something we hate is not in fact sustainable and then begins the on and off the wagon rollercoaster which encourages us to create all sorts of toxic habits and negative beliefs about ourselves and ultimately means that we never really make any long lasting, positive change in our lives.
That’s not even mentioning the toxic messaging from the fitness industry itself which teaches us that only the hardest, most gruelling workouts are worthwhile, it really is no wonder that we end up hating the gym and believing that exercise isn’t for us.
But what if there was another way? What if your relationship with the gym didn’t have to be full of guilt and shame, of punishment and self loathing? What if I told you that you could have a happy, healthy relationship with exercise and in time yourself? Would you believe me?
I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t but It is in fact true! And this week I want to shine some light on exactly how you can start to love the gym!
1 - Find somewhere that you’re excited to go!
For far too long the fitness industry has gotten away with being a one size fits all industry. Gym’s have been allowed to be super intimidating spaces that are focused solely on weight loss and “shredding” and as a result most people feel they aren’t for them. We have worked with thousands of humans who regularly tell us “I never thought I’d love being in a gym” and this tells me that it’s less that we don’t like the gym or gym style exercise and more that we have never been in a space where we feel seen, heard and like our authentic selves are welcome there. SLAM exists to be exactly that space and I’d encourage you to find your space, I get that it feels intimidating and believe me I know exactly why but there are safe and inclusive spaces out there and if you are in Glasgow you’re in luck as we have a handful of spaces left on our Small Group Personal Training trial which begins on 01.05.23!
2 - Consider Group Training
Working out on your own can feel lonely and it’s really hard to motivate yourself to work out when there are so many more tempting things (like doom scrolling instagram) stealing your attention. The amazing thing about humans is that we love community and connection and when you have that as an incentive for your workouts it’s a lot easier to get to the gym even on the really tough days. At SLAM we have a saying that even if you just want to sit on the gym floor and soak up the good vibes - you are welcome at our sessions. Like we said earlier - health is about so much more than exercise and sometimes just showing up, doing a few movements and having a good laugh with some lovely humans is exactly what the soul needs. When you know that’s an option or your just as excited to catch up with your community as you are to workout then you are more likely to show up more often and thus build a better relationship with the gym!
3 - Hire a coach who knows their stuff
1-2-1 or small group coaching can be so epic in providing accountability, knowledge and confidence around the gym, all of which will make for a more positive experience.
You might not know this but not all coaches are cut from the same cloth. Our industry is unregulated which means that just about anyone can create and deliver a PT qualification and the standard requirements for being an educational institution that trains people to become PT’s are very low. This, unfortunately, means that anyone can become a coach or personal trainer and whilst it’s amazing to have that level of accessibility the downside is that most people aren’t really well equipped for coaching other humans, That is compounded by the fact that most personal training qualifications STIILL fail to educate coaches on the female hormone cycle, working with specialist populations (such as pregnant and postnatal people) and include zero support with interpersonal skills can leave room for a LOT of harm to be done. I believe that most of this is done unwittingly, no one gets into coaching to hurt other people but because of these poor standards, the reality is that most people have a story about how a coaching or personal training experience triggered or even worse - created a disordered or negative experience with exercise and the gym.
A good quality coach will be open and honest about their qualifications and will feel like a safe and supportive human to be around. Seek those people out to help you learn and progress your gym experience. Don’t ever be afraid to feedback to a coach that something they said or did, didn’t feel right to you and if anyone comes at you with toxic messaging that doesn’t sit right - you do not have to just put up with it, I promise there is a better, more supportive way to learn to love the gym. If we feel like the right fit for you but you don’t fancy SGPT we have a small number of spaces for 1-2-1 coaching email us for availability.
4 - Learn to Auto-Regulate Your Training
One of THE most toxic messages we are taught about gym use and exercise in general is that for it to count we must do it a set amount of times per week, every week, ad infinitum. The reality is however that we are not robots and that life is for so much more than going to the gym. At SLAM we believe that exercise should enhance your life experience not take away from it and I fully believe that if you have to fully restrict yourself and sacrifice everything else in order for your gym program to “work” then it isn’t a very good gym program and there is in fact another way! Get to know yourself and what YOU need. If you are a person who menstruates - consider tracking your cycle and noting your energy levels throughout the month, use this information to formulate when and how often you train.
Check-in with yourself before you go to the gym, ask yourself what you need today and then use that to taper, progress or even ditch your gym sessions. Ultimately you cannot sustain something long-term that doesn’t work with your life and you don’t want to constantly be feeling guilty for “missing” sessions when the ball starts to drop. I’d always advocate for remembering that this is YOUR training and YOUR life. Even if it is in a group or you’re part of a gym with set session times, it can be done with a flexible attitude and the mindset that you and your needs come first.
I need a lot of flexibility in my training, I own a busy business, I am a mother and I have struggled with adrenal fatigue and disregulated hormones from years of using exercise as a punishment. That’s exactly why I have spent the past 5 years constantly pivoting and adapting my business model to get to a place where the gym offers quality support, guidance, and coaching, in groups, with an epic community whilst allowing for the flexibility and variability that we all need in our busy, full lives. Our unlimited small group personal training membership allows our members access to a 6-day-per-week program which they can access across a variety of coached and uncoached sessions that range from 6am-10pm Monday- Saturday. As well as that, members can support their strength training with yoga and mindfulness sessions, conditioning classes, and community events. Because we love to give you a lot of bang for your buck you also get access to our app which allows you to track your own progress, guides you on which weights to use for your unique experience, and lets you connect with our coaches and members on a group chat that isn’t on WhatsApp! If you feel called to join us we have a handful of spaces in our membership available now for start on 01.05.23.
I hope that helps, if you were a gym no-goer and are now a gym-lover we’d love to know what worked for you and if you have any tips to share! Comment below!!