Lifting Weights Saved My Life
I spent a very big part of my life hating this body. I told her every day she just wasn’t good enough. I starved her, I punished her with exercise and I never, ever got my legs out because I didn’t have a thigh gap and I really truly believed that was what mattered.
Later in life, my narrative was confirmed when I struggled to stay pregnant and faced loss after loss.
Recovery from diet culture has been a long, wild journey, one that I doubt I’ll ever see the end of but last month I competed in my first-ever weightlifting competition, I smashed my PBs and got a gold medal and I have never been more grateful for my strong powerful thighs, I’ve never felt more proud of what this body can do and that despite all the shit I put her through here she is- my home, coming through for me.
I don’t exaggerate when I say that lifting weights saved my life. It gave me the chance to finally be in a place where I don’t have to shrink myself, to feel strong and to want to nourish my body with food, and to no longer feel afraid of weight gain or body changes. It showed me that I was more than how I looked and gave me the confidence I needed to begin to heal and the strength, passion, and fire in my belly to build SLAM, so that I could share the life-changing benefits of lifting weights in space where all you ever need to be is your complete authentic self.
And now when I look in the mirror I don’t pick apart this body because it doesn’t fit arbitrary beauty standards, through building strength and achieving things that I believed my whole life just weren’t for me - my thoughts have been completely reframed and now I am so proud of who I am. I don’t fear getting bigger because I no longer see bigger as bad. I’m free from a narrative that tells me I must stay small and be nice and not take up too much space and instead I speak up with my loud-mouthed feminist values and stand up on my thick thighs, taking up all the space I want, knowing that I can comfortably squat most people who come at me with their BS 😜
If these feelings of shame, resentment and heartache toward your body resonate with you please know you are not alone. Healing is possible, it’s not linear but it is possible- one day at a time. If you would like support with ED or body dysmorphia we have some specialists we can recommend and if you are ready to uncover what your incredible body can do, how to find the joy in movement and the strength in yourself then come and join our amazing community.
We will have limited space on our membership from May onward, now taking reservations from those who feel called to join. (if you sign up now we’ll adjust your start date to 01.05.23 when our spaces open up)