How to Set Boundaries with Social Media
Last week on our blog I talked about my obsession with social media and how breaking my unhealthy habits changed my life in ways I didn’t ever expect. If you haven't read it pop over and check it out here (and then come back for the tips!)
Now I realise that for most of us, social media is an outlet, it’s a business tool, it’s a connector to family near and far and during the dark days of the pandemic it was incredible for connecting us all, lifting our spirits and in some case for a bit of an escape! I stand by the fact that all of that can be very good for your mental health but like anything, when used to excess, it can have a dark side, one that sometimes is so subtle or maybe it’s because it’s happening to us all that we don’t always recognise it.
Social media has become a big part of our lives and it isn’t going anywhere any time soon. So how do we live with it? What kind of things can we do to ensure it’s a positive experience - that doesn’t leave us comparing our lives to others? Or end up falling down a hole of watching our ex's highlight reels… (Don’t lie, we’ve all done it 😉)
Set Social Media Boundaries
Are you asking yourself if I know any other words? I know I talk about it all of the time but this is such a biggie. Social media is designed to be addictive, so much so that most of the developers neither use it themselves nor let their children use it (terrifying I know!)
So implementing boundaries can mean that you’ll have a much healthier relationship with it.
There are a couple of things you can do - Apple iPhones have great features that allow you to set limits of your time on certain apps - you’ll get a notification or your phone will lock when you’ve reached your limit, meaning you're less likely to whittle away hours doom scrolling. If you know you’ll just override that feature, then try setting yourself daily check-in times- say for example I can check it at 9am, 12pm and 6pm, after that, block the app or lock it until the next day.
Get Clear on What You’re Planning on Doing on Social Media
If you need Instagram for work or you want to be able to use it in moderation, then set yourself some guidance such as “I’ll go on to post a story and I’ll engage with the first post on my feed” Practice sticking to your own guidance and whenever you notice that you’ve stepped outside of it, switch off your phone or app.
Check-in with yourself and your unconscious feelings
If you don’t want to spend longer on social apps, check-in with yourself regularly and notice how you are truly feeling, if you’re feeling good then keep scrolling, if not, then maybe it’s time to take a break. Be sure to check in when you come off your phone too and if you’re holding on to negative thoughts and comparisons, set boundaries to be mindful of what you consume next time.
Curate your feed
You see this everywhere and it’s because it is so essential, if something is making you feel bad it doesn’t matter if the intention behind the account is positive or not - unfollow or mute.
Not everything we mute or unfollow has to be negative, maybe it’s triggering you into a place you haven’t worked through yet - it’s totally ok to protect yourself.
Be kind and compassionate
Both with yourself and with others.
I truly believe that if we want Instagram to be a more positive place, then we have to take some personal responsibility for our own behaviours on there. If you notice that you are bringing up thoughts and feelings of jealousy or resentment- take a moment to address them. We judge everyone by our own moral compass, so if you are speaking negatively of others- it might be why you worry that they are speaking negatively about you.
Of course, it’s not as simple as that, but a reflection on your own behaviour can be super helpful. Don’t beat yourself with a shame stick though - you’re human and we all have these thoughts, be compassionate, recognise and switch off from socials until you feel clearer.
Take a social media break
Sometimes a clean break is what’s needed to help us become aware of the negative impact too much time on socials is having.
If you’re unsure how it’s affecting you or want to break an intense scrolling habit- try coming off completely for a couple of weeks. There are so many cool scheduling tools that even if you run a business you can still keep things ticking over, even if you aren’t on there yourself.
We are all wonderfully unique and complex individuals, what works for me might not be right for you.
For me my obsession ran so deep that I had to take an extended break, my issue wasn’t just with social media, social media was an outlet I was using to prove myself and feed my ego in a way that allowed me to ignore addressing my feelings of low self-esteem. But I am equally in the privileged position of having an already established and successful business, a top-class marketing manager and friends and family who I can connect with in person. I realise this isn’t the case for all of us and that for some that break feels too scary or maybe not even necessary.
Whatever is coming up for you I hope reading about my experience is relatable and helpful in some way.
I’d love to know any tools or tips you have and anything that has worked for you?